In this episode, we dive deep into the personal journey of our guest speaker, Nneka Jenkins, founder of Onyx Wealth Realty. We get deep in our discussions of experiencing struggles with negative self-talk, and grappling with not feeling worthy. As a broker, Nneka shares her insights on societal expectations for success and the pressure to conform. She sheds light on the challenges faced as a black woman in the real estate industry, including the necessary skill (and talent) of code-switching. Throughout the episode, our guest emphasizes the importance of mentorship and learning from others in order to succeed. Her journey is filled with ups and downs, including a nervous breakdown, but ultimately leads to success. for her and her family. Join us on this episode of the Here to UPLIFT podcast, as we explore the power of self-reflection, mentorship, and the journey to self-acceptance and success. If you receive this the way I did while hosting, this episode will leave you feeling inspired and motivated to pursue your own path with confidence.
We'd love to know if anything in Nneka's story resonates with you. Join our conversation by adding your thoughts in the comments. Your support means a lot! Please like, share, and subscribe to help us keep the content coming!
Connect with Nneka on Instagram @homesbynneka & @onyxwealthrealty.
Connect with Lolo on Instagram, Threads, Facebook, and YouTube @UPLIFTbyLolo .
Pod Navigation:
02:15 Accidental journey into real estate with success.
09:30 Struggling with articulating guidance and adapting approach.
13:06 Learning code switching, finding my true self.
21:04 Kids sometimes lack the struggles I had.
26:11 Impostor syndrome, luck, gratitude, and motivation.
33:25 Stepmom's fear of connecting with her stepchildren.
37:54 Let go of resentment, understand intentions.
45:27 Realizing I'm done having kids, feeling worthy.
50:54 Chilling at home, loving movies, home decor.
53:59 Model, match, mentor, learn, consistent success.
59:35 Tea shop with aesthetic for slow moments.
About the Pod: Hosted by Lolo Fisher, the Here to UPLIFT Podcast centers the stories of women entrepreneurs, community leaders, business owners, and change makers who have forged their way through adversity to reach their current success and now positively impact, influence, and uplift others. Thank you so much for watching! More coming soon...
Lolo Fisher [00:00:07]:
Hello. Hello, and welcome to the Here to Uplift podcast, where we center the stories of impactful change makers, entrepreneurs, and community leaders who have done the hard work of uplifting themselves through adversity to get where they are today and now uplift others along the way in their journeys. I'm Lolo Fisher, your host, lover of all things wellness, healing, and empowerment, and I would greatly appreciate if you show us your support by liking, subscribing, and sharing this podcast with others. Let's get into it.
Lolo Fisher [00:00:43]:
Perfect. Okay. Welcome y'all to the Here to Uplift podcast. I'm Lolo, and I'm here with my special guest, Neka Jenkins. I'm super excited for this because this is actually our first time meeting in person, although we've interacted on social media a few times. So a lot of what y'all are here, and I am learning for the first time too. So, Nicky, you wanna start by introducing yourself and what you do a little bit? Yes. First of all, I'm so grateful that you even asked me to. We met Instagram. That's just so crazy.
Nneka Jenkins [00:01:09]:
So I'm very excited to be here. My name is Ncca Jenkins. I am a realtor here in the Bay Area. I have my own firm called Onyx Wealth Realty, and our main focus is just helping people achieve generational wealth and all that that means. And I truly mean that in the depth of my soul. Oh, I love that. Yeah. So I don't know if you know this, but the way I actually found you was through following Lovey Guajis page.
Lolo Fisher [00:01:34]:
Right? So I've been, like, obsessing with her her fashion, her clothing for so long. And then I think she, like, posted you And I just saw your Instagram title, and I was like, oh, I'm curious now. And that's how it, like, led to all of this. So -- Interesting. Yeah. And then you gave me a hair rack, which I so badly needed, and I'm going back this week. Yay.
Nneka Jenkins [00:01:55]:
I love that. So Your hairspray going on. Thank you. Thank you. But no. I when you posted that, I was like, wait. I remember talking around the side and then I put it together, but I didn't know Lavi Guehue or Guehue was the 1 I never met her, though. So I've she's on my list too. Yes. Yes. She is amazing.
Lolo Fisher [00:02:10]:
She's amazing. Yay. Okay. So how did you get into Realty?
Nneka Jenkins [00:02:15]:
So kind of by accident, I was in tech, and I we're I was in medical devices, and I I've always been the type of person to just do a lot of things. And it's not even like I get bored. I'm just like, oh, let me start this random business. Let me do this. Let me have 10 jobs. You know? So I was helping my husband's family who they're born and raised out here in the bay, and I was helping them a lot with managing their real estate -- Mhmm. -- just like, you know, this little stuff. Right? Yeah. And then he this is when we first started dating. So he would get mad that I was spending some that I was spending so much time outside of the house, and he was like, you're not getting paid for it. And, you know, whatever. And I'm like, it's your family. Like, what? He's like, no. I know. But they they will respect what you do. You work so hard for them. Whatever. Right? So he made he basically was like, you need to make it a job? Or like, no. And his mom and his aunt. His mom and his aunt Dola were both kind of like, yeah. We agree. So I had to make a business out of it, and I'd done that before with, like, other things. So kinda made a business out of it. I'd, like, give them invoices. So long story short, I found out that to do property management, you have to have your real estate license. So my mindset -- Mhmm. -- I was so small minded that I got my real estate life. Nothing against property management. I still, like, do that and all that. But I got my real estate license to do property management. Never occurred to me, hey. Do real estate Right? Yeah. He didn't even think about it nothing. So I did that. I was getting my MBA. I was having another kid. And then I did this random training class, and they were like, oh, have you ever thought about corporate relocation? And so corporate relocation, long story short, is basically, like, a company hires you to help Google, Apple, Tesla type employees relocate, whether it's to rent or to buy. So I started doing that again because I was bored, I guess. And -- I don't know how to do that. Yeah. Yeah. So I was just doing that, and then slowly, I made a business out of that. For, like, a year and a half or whatever. And then I got right when I after I got my real estate license, I got my first requisition for for a client to purchase. Mhmm. So my first sale was 800000 in Redwood City. And I was like, this this is this is not I don't wanna say easy because it's, you know, it's not, but I was like, oh, this is easy. Like, thank you god. So he opened that door for me, and I was doing it part time. And then my husband was like, finally, after 2 about a year and a half, 2 years of doing it part time, he's like, you need to quit. And that was a big shift. Yeah. I was pregnant with my our fourth child at that time. And he's like, you need to quit your job and do this full time. And I cry. I had a nervous breakdown. Do you really stay away? Oh, no. No. -- realistic. What job were you doing at the same time? I was in corporate America full time. Oh. Getting my MBA, having my our third kid, and then I got had our fourth kid finished the NBA. And they was like, you need to quit and do it full time. Literally, I I had a nervous and I'm not being petty. Yeah. So it was it was a big transition, but so that's why it's it was on accident that I kinda fell into real estate, and it -- Yeah. -- I have no idea how I didn't start it sooner. 1 of those things that got us out of mind. I didn't even think we could buy a home out here, let alone do real estate at this level. Yeah. Wow.
Lolo Fisher [00:05:29]:
Okay. So corporate America, what transferrable skills do you think were you were applying to real estate? Gosh. So many.
Nneka Jenkins [00:05:37]:
Professionalism, of course. Managing horizontally, managing vertically, managing expectations, project management, code switching.
Lolo Fisher [00:05:53]:
I don't know. But code switching, just yeah. A lot. If you know what? Let's jump right into it. Yeah. I know. I know what you're gonna talk about. Because so I I am getting into real estate myself. I'm, like, working on my license, and there's so much to learn. But for me, 1 of the biggest challenges is the perfectionism piece of wanting to know everything and you there's no way to know everything, right, when you're going into a new venture. Mhmm. But I've been so curious, you know, as a black woman in, I'll say Silicon Valley, but in the Bay Area, in general, doing real estate,
Nneka Jenkins [00:06:28]:
the what is that code switching experience like? Does it feel natural or forced? And how have you mastered it? I don't think I've mastered it. I think if anything, as I learn more and more, I struggle with it and wonder if it's okay that sometimes because I don't think it's something I'm consciously doing. Yep. I think this this is who I am. Yeah. I mean, I was born in Nigeria, Africa. I moved to America when I was, like, 4. Yeah. And this has always been how I present myself, how I speak. And I remember in early years, people saying like, oh, you speak so proper as if it was a surprise. You know that whole thing. Yep.
Lolo Fisher [00:07:05]:
I got I got called an Oreo. Like, you speak you're black on the outside, but you speak so white. Exactly.
Nneka Jenkins [00:07:10]:
Exact oh, there's just so much wrong with that. Right? So It's not something I do on a conscious level, but I think people don't realize how much we, in a sense, for success. There is a level of conformity that happens, right, in whichever way. And so for me out here in the South Bay, where a lot of people that look like me are in the East Bay. Yeah. I think sometimes the expect I think people are sometimes surprised by my success. And I find myself having to make sure in the conversation that I let people know I have kids -- Yeah. -- because I sometimes present like, I look younger. I find myself working in oh, like, every time my my brokerage has put my name on anything -- Yeah. -- I'm that girl that's put that MBA. Yeah. Go go ahead and yeah. Yeah. You forgot that. Let's redo. You know? So I think there's just a lot of in interactions that you're constantly second guessing yourself. Yeah. So there's a part of me that I have to you know, it's natural for me, honestly, but sometimes I have to get into gear. Right? Code switching sometimes not in the the the sense that most people think of it. But for me, I talk to my team a lot about being kind of a chameleon in different environments. Right? So you're talking to a tech person or if you're talking to a high c, high s -- Mhmm. -- less d or there's a couple or something, you've got to temper who you are a bit. Right. And so for me, there's the tempering who you are just as a human -- Mhmm. -- but then the preconceived notions of what I'm supposed to present as as a black female. Right.
Lolo Fisher [00:08:46]:
Yeah. Oh, that's interesting, though. So I'm curious because I feel like I get the most pressure, especially when I was in college and I'll say grad school in particular because I was teaching while in grad school, teaching undergrad classes. And at the time, I feel like almost all the pressure I got from folks in saying, like, you shouldn't temper yourself or you shouldn't assimilate what's coming from other black folks. Totally. Totally. And it was like, okay. But, like, I I understand the point of, like, not changing for somebody else or not you know, chinny for the white man is like, you would say. And I was like, but it's not that they're that it's not me. It's like different variations of me that I can control. It was so hard to explain that to somebody. Like, it's still me.
Nneka Jenkins [00:09:30]:
I think that's what I'm struggling with more now. I don't think I ever put that much weight on it or thought about it as much as I do now because now I'm teaching and guiding people on my team. Yeah. And there's 1 there's 1 woman on my team I love her dearly. She's been with me, I think, almost 2 years. And she struggles with that because I don't think I articulate it in the in the right in the complete perfect way yet -- Mhmm. -- to encourage people to understand that I'm not saying change. Yeah. But I'm saying in life in general, you sometimes have to do what you have to do to do what you want to do. So for me, in the beginning when I was just starting real estate, I modeled a white man who is still my partner and still a mentor me. Yeah. Right? He was a white man. It wasn't important to me how he sang it into that. No. It was important. Right. How are you getting these people to trust you? Oh, you're making sure you know everything about everything. Yes. Yeah. How are you showing that confidence even for situations that you don't know? Oh, you're comfortable saying I don't know, but showing them that you're resourceful enough to do it. Right. So I I think that for for me, I'm realizing that it doesn't have to be about changing who you are. It's about if you're trying to reach the largest audience in whatever that you're doing, on some level, show who you are, be this, be that, all of that, own it. But when you're helping someone with the largest purchase of their lives -- Right. -- like, maybe you temper some elements in that initial meeting with them -- Yep. -- so that they feel safe. Yeah. If I'm meeting someone for the first time and they find me on Zillow based on my reviews and what people say about me and all that, and I come out. Hey. Like, you know, because I can be that girl. Right. But I come out with all that gun swinging. You see a lot of Okay.
Lolo Fisher [00:11:24]:
They don't know me yet. Yeah. So maybe I have to and this is, again, subconscious, but maybe I have to code switch. Sorry. Right. My mic. Sorry about that. Maybe I have to code switch in the moment -- Mhmm. -- or or whatever you wanna call it to just temper so that they can I can make them feel safe enough to trust me and open up, and then we can, you know, get into that? And code code switching has such a negative connotation, but it's really just adapting to whoever -- Hundred percent. You're talking to like, I'm thinking about even when you talk to a kid. Right? You don't talk to a kid. Like -- That's a good example. Can you go grab this? And then I need you to make this to do list. Yeah. Of a 3 year old, a 5 year old -- Hundred percent. -- that. No. That's such a good idea. -- an example. Baby voice so that they can understand us. They can bond with us. And I feel like whether it's business or just building trusting relationships is the same thing. Eventually,
Nneka Jenkins [00:12:14]:
you are gonna see the fool me You're like, right. You're working, and you might hear much lag. You might hear -- Right. -- whatever it is. But when it starts, like, yeah. I will use my business voice, which really just means the business is what we're connecting on first. Exactly. And then you get to know I love I literally love that analogy that you use. Because when I deal whether it's my kids or someone else's kids, what is the first thing that you do at least in my mind? You you meet a new kid and you're trying to tell them something or whatever. You're 5 foot whatever, maybe 6 foot tall. They're literally a foot a foot and a half. Get down to the -- Me where they are. Yep. -- meet people where they're at. Yeah. So oh, I love that. I love that example. I'm curious then. In relation to this topic, do you have any stories
Lolo Fisher [00:12:57]:
good or bad in relation to reactions of of code switching or maybe when you had to do it and you weren't comfortable with it?
Nneka Jenkins [00:13:06]:
Gosh. I don't know. But I I don't know if this will directly answer that question. Reactions, I think, were on my end. As I've gotten comfortable with 1, who I am, and 2, who I am in this career. And I'm no longer working from a scarcity mindset, which sometimes is a survival tactic. Right? You you don't know everything yet. So I'm leaning on my mentor and just doing everything you tell you know? I think with that, I've just realized if I'm in an environment where I start to consciously code switch -- Mhmm. -- and change who I am, I'm out. Right. And that's okay. And I'm still working through that in the that's okay. Like, I don't need that deal whatever because I truly don't. Like right? But it's hard. God is my source. So as long as I'm keeping that as the focus, me losing that client well, if I didn't have them, I I'm not losing them. But in my mind, if I'm thinking on losing that client, it's just creating space for someone else. So -- Yes. Yeah. That that's what I'm trying to, you know, communicate to my to my team and that it's not that I'm saying you have to. It's that if you're starting your career and you're not there yet, Maybe, like yeah. Maybe this is just a tool. And what I've also learned is the the code switching that I've done subconsciously for so many years that a lot of us do. Mhmm. It's also helped me learn how to be with different types of people. Yeah. So much of people or professionals these days are like, oh, I want my people. Yeah. That's important. You find your tribe. You find your people. And when you grow big enough, but on the road to get there -- Yes. -- you gotta know how to deal with other people because there's a thing. I can choose my client, but I can't choose the realtor on the other Mhmm. I can't choose the seller on the other side. But when I gather information about them -- Yeah. -- and I pull experiences from the past, it's easy for me to then say, well, maybe I should maybe I should deal with this in this way because I remember when I dealt with that personality and they had these circumstances, this is what happened. So I pull on all of those. So to me, it's like it's like education along the way. Yep. And I think that gets taken for granted so much. Totally. That's actually a huge piece of why I actually value being mixed, like, in my own life. And
Lolo Fisher [00:15:25]:
it's hard because, obviously, it brought some hardship with things like I my parents were incredibly loving to me, but I had a lot of moments where, like, my white side didn't accept me and my black side didn't accept me. It's like, where do you go? And you you grow through that. Mhmm. But that always made me want to know people of a variety of cultures. It made me wanna know, like, can I make sure nobody else feels excluded or, like, they're not enough? Totally. Yeah. And now I'm like, I I didn't even realize other people had issues with that until That's really the only goal today. And, you know, like, going through that. And I'm like, oh, this is an asset. Like but I can I'm comfortable talking to anybody. The asset. Yeah. Yeah. I I spoke at Stanford last week, and there were undergrad students in the room and graduate students.
Nneka Jenkins [00:16:08]:
I don't remember exactly. Excuse me. Don't remember exactly how they asked, but I remember someone bringing up, you know, that they struggle with not having more environments that look like them, and what would I do if that were me and
Lolo Fisher [00:16:21]:
I am from Nigeria, Africa, and when we moved here, I grew up most of my life. In Scottsdale, Arizona. No. Yes. The dichotomy. I went to school at University of Arizona, so I I moved out of here. University of Arizona. We got it. This is fun. I really did that. Okay. Great. Really? Yeah. Okay. I don't wanna age ourselves, but I wanna know when you got 20 12 with my bachelor's in 20 with my master's. Okay. You're young. I'm done. Okay. Just -- We look like you're the same age. Love you. You look so young. I graduated
Nneka Jenkins [00:16:54]:
2008. Okay. Yeah. Is that right? 2008? It's like college. Yeah. High school cycle away. We're like -- What's the most recent thing? Okay. So -- Oh, wow. Yeah. That's funny. Okay. But to say, I know what Scottsdale looks like. So yes. Yeah. So I remember them saying, you know, the Stanford students are saying, like, what do you do? What's your advice? And it came across like it was a negative thing. Right? Yeah. I get it. I love when I have an environment where there's a lot of people that look like me. I strive for my kids to have environments where more kids look like them. I picked their schools to make sure not all black kids, but multi gen multiple or sorry. Multicultural. Yeah. So I remember answering that and I struggled because I didn't wanna come across like, it doesn't matter. But it kinda doesn't. So what I said to them was, Listen. If the environment doesn't look the way you want it to -- Mhmm. -- go create that environment. Go find your people. Go create that space. Go create that group, whatever. That's the first piece because you need to get that. If that's what you're craving, you need to get that. But Then I said to them, but don't underestimate the power, like you were just mentioning -- Mhmm. -- of being in that environment that you feel is not ideal. Meaning and maybe in their mind, it's I'm the only black kid and I've dealt with that all my life. Right? But maybe you're supposed to be the light in that environment to other people. Yeah. Maybe there's things you have to learn in that environment because the world is you're not gonna be able to create every single environment to be that. Right. And do we want that? Like, look at what a it's a melting pot. Mhmm. So I remember saying that I'm feeling like, I hope this resonates and doesn't sound negative, but I think so much of people these days. We're just we're so mad at what is instead of accepting it, learning from it, and then go go create whatever it is that you're desperate for. Yeah. But I don't think we're it's always supposed to always look like us. Right? You know, I don't disagree, but I do have to play devil's advocate a little bit. I love it. I think there's a challenge in it of, you know,
Lolo Fisher [00:18:57]:
I agree in terms of our experience. And, you know, what I hear from a lot when I was working in Higher Ed and working with, like, students of color, what I was hearing is I am already working so hard or so stressed or in such traumatic environments at home. That I don't want to go to these places where I'm supposed to be growing and not feel seen, not represented her -- And that's how they felt. Absolutely. -- how they feel when you can't see yourself or someone who looks like you. So, you know, it's hard because it's like -- I agree. -- we shouldn't have
Nneka Jenkins [00:19:27]:
to build working we're working overtime. I agree with you. In every environment, we're working overtime. We're second guessing how they're perceiving us. All of that stuff doesn't happen in most of my white friends' minds. Right. They don't even have to think about how am I coming across right now. Are they gonna assume that I'm ghetto? Are they gonna assume that I'm uneducated. Are they gonna assume that I'm not married with all these kids that I talk about? All that stuff. You're hundred percent right. Yes. I think I I just how great would it be, though, if we turn that perspective into let's go create it? And that's why I love, like, seeing all the spaces that people create, and then you can go be a part of Yeah. But instead sitting there and being being discouraged by and kind of going within, Like, you're missing the beauty that maybe you were meant to be uncomfortable in that space so that you can then grow from -- Grow into it. -- and and create something something that other people benefit from. It's true. In in those, like, tough situations, I think that's when you find out your real gifts. Hundred percent. They blossom when you don't expect it. Like, when you least expect it. When it's hard, when it's comfortable. Like, we wanna be so we wanna be so comfortable all the time. We're missing
Lolo Fisher [00:20:36]:
what creates grit. Resilient. Yeah. I'm trying to, like, literally create it for my kid. Because, like listen. We -- Please tell me about this. Oh my god. Because I'm I'm curious. I'm like I mean, I'll be I'll be we, like, viewers can't necessarily see everything, but you're home. Thank you. Gorgeous. You worked very hard for it. And that's what I was gonna say. And I'm betting that you worked so hard to get here. -- sacrificed. And then so it's like, how do you convey that hard work to children who are growing up in a place that's so beautiful? Frankly, I
Nneka Jenkins [00:21:04]:
have a cleaner sometimes. And sometimes I'm like, please don't come on my kids here. Oh, okay. -- things that come out of my kids' mouths, you're like, And you're like, well, I did that. Right? It's hard. My husband and I talk about it all the time because I there's it's there's a part of me that feels that I'm as tenacious and as driven and as ambitious and as strong as I am because of my environment or because of my upbringing. Mhmm. Good, bad, and ugly. And my kids our lives are not perfect by a long shot. Yeah. But some of the things that I did not that I struggled with, they're not struggling with at all. Right? The stability, so I worry that they're not gonna have the drive. And you can't manufacture that. You can't. So I find myself sometimes wondering, you know, what a forced struggle either. Yes. If you wanna do your best for me. Like, they have struggles, don't get me wrong. Yeah. Not the same. Oh, not the same in, like it's hard. Because they we're big on sports. We're equally, if not more, big on education. Sometimes in the sports, because we're we're big on, like, listen. We don't we don't have you don't have to do all of this. Yeah. I did 5 sports growing up. My mom was at none of them. None of them. None of them. She I won competitions. I went to state for track every single year. I was a dancer all my life. I did so much. You Okay. We like, not clearly. We're gonna be friends after this. The I love that we're doing this, like, curve on the first time too. Right? But I did so much of that, and my mom couldn't be at anything because she was a single mom doing it all for the 3 of us. And my my kids is my kids know none of that. So they don't even know how lucky they are to do my 5 year old does dance 4 times a week, and it's going to nationals in July. You know? Yeah. Literally, everyone always asks she has dance competitions along the way, and I just I love that she's doing it because she truly does love it. Mhmm. But everyone after the competitions, they'll ask, did she win. And I'm sad because I always say they've won every single competition in the past year since she's been competing. Wow. And I tell the dance moms, like, yeah. Of course. Happy like great. They're doing good. No. I'd love to see how she reacts to losing. It's only been a year. She's she just turned 2 days ago. But same thing with my son. Yeah. Now they're starting to lose games, and I love that because I get to see the different parts of him and the different the way he responds, I get to build that character within him. Yeah. Like, 1 time my daughter was on stage after, and they won. But afterwards and she was tired. I mean, I should have been a little easier on her, but other people were going up to get their awards, and she just didn't get to stand up to get the award. Right? There's other people on the team. And she was on that stage looking miserable, crying, and titt it up. I was living. You're gonna put that smile on your face. You're here. But I loved it because it was an awkward opportunity to teach your life when other people are succeeding and being congratulated for it, by no means are you worried about you in that moment. Right? So Same thing with my my son. He won, like, the first he's only had 2 basketball competitions that they or championships they won.
Lolo Fisher [00:24:24]:
Like, when are they gonna feel when am I gonna see the -- It's like good job parents for putting them in these right situations. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they're still in the same time. It's like, I want them to have the resilience and the hunger. But don't you think they will likely hear from your stories of resilience and hunger and see like because it doesn't go away for you. Right? No. Yeah. You're right. Good and bad. When you were killing me. Yeah. Yeah. And going through challenges and struggles, it built the resilience in hunger. True. But now that you've built wealth, that you've built that you've built that you've built that you've built that you've built that you've built space for your family that you're continuing to build? Is that resilience and hunger gone? That's true. Like, they're gonna see that in you. I appreciate No. I think they're gonna see that in you. No. Never you're doing. It's very true. I yeah. That's a good way to look at it. It's it's hard
Nneka Jenkins [00:25:17]:
if I'm articulating this right. I think I have success guilt a lot. Mhmm. So not only do I beat myself up for the success we've achieved, even though I'm very clear that it's from hard work. Yeah. But I beat myself up. I also sometimes like I don't know. I think I'm not very patient and understanding to the fact that my kids didn't ask to be you know, like, it's okay. They're fine. They're good kids. They're empathetic. They're kind. They're compassionate. And, you know, they're not sometimes. So so, you know, I I as hard as I am on them, I'm 10 times harder on myself, and I think both are not not great. Why do you think that is? Because I'm scared. I think I'm still a little scared of,
Lolo Fisher [00:26:03]:
like, of losing it, of the success not last. Thing or Oh,
Nneka Jenkins [00:26:07]:
gosh.
Lolo Fisher [00:26:08]:
I'm sorry. I'm I'm asking the right questions.
Nneka Jenkins [00:26:11]:
I don't think I would have ever admitted that so freely. But when you say that, I yeah. Yeah. I think I still kind of am I think I that's what drove me for a long time, and I'm you know, my men my mentor he tells me all the time what got you here won't take you there. And It's so true. What's required of me now is very different than what was required of me then, and that's okay. So I have to rise to the occasion here. But I think I do there would be times in the beginning, and sometimes I have this, but not as where every deal, I would literally sit there and think, oh, I was so lucky that's never gonna happen again. Every deal. Well, that's impostor syndrome at its core. Right? Totally. Yeah. So I think now it's not that I do that on every deal. It's that I'm shocked that in my 5 and a half, 6 years total of being in real estate, 4 years full time. That I've consistently been in multiple escrows -- Yeah. -- consistently. And that's such a huge thing, and I'm so humbled by it. I'm grateful for it. Yeah. And I'm also terrified because especially with how the market is now, there's a lot of people struggling. Yeah. And I'm not saying we're not seeing struggle. Things are different. Mhmm. We're producing and consistently. And so I think I turned that into well, this can't last forever, so you better figure something out. And so there's
Lolo Fisher [00:27:45]:
Do you have backup plans?
Nneka Jenkins [00:27:47]:
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're we'll beat. We're fine. Even if I don't sell, you know, we'll be okay. But I think I used to have scarcity mindset 100 percent. And I I my mindset totally shifted, and I totally adopted abundant mindset. It helps me grow and all that. And I think I have that, but now that we're done having kids and I'm just looking at the totality of our life, and the responsibility,
Lolo Fisher [00:28:13]:
I get it's it's scary at times. Yeah. A lot of people depending on us. Yeah. And I would say, like, I have been learning that fear doesn't go away. It just evolves as you, like, push through it. And it's like, Okay. Well, that fear isn't the same, but that core fear is always there. It just looks a little different in life. Like, I know, like, just to speak for my own experience right now, like, with my first time being pregnant and, you know, this first year of being a stepmom, it's like I'm learning so much wildly quickly. And the the things that normally would bring me fear in my career are the same at its core in terms of independent success, you know, providing for everybody, but it was always, like, providing for me and my future family. And I'm like, well, now I have this family. And -- You're, like, in -- I'm also in a space where I am blessed and lucky that I'm being told, like, you don't have to be the provider. Like, don't worry about it. In in the back of my mind, I'm like, what am I gonna do? And then I gotta, like, put a pack of plan and this and that. And it's, like, the fear is still there. It has just evolved and changed with the roles that I'm taking on.
Nneka Jenkins [00:29:21]:
First of all, kudos to your man. Good for you. I think that's great. Because look at what you're still doing so much and that's I think that's amazing.
Lolo Fisher [00:29:31]:
I'm a little bit of a workaholic, so I don't think it would be possible to do that. -- to work with. Yeah.
Nneka Jenkins [00:29:37]:
My husband says the same thing. He's like, to think you're ever gonna not feel like you have to work, and he used to be kind of annoyed with, like, the truth is probably not. But now I think he's like, yeah. Just just who you are. So he's so supportive with all that too, honestly. But, yeah, my drive can be overwhelming and exhausting. But I agree. Motherhood is just it's a beast that I don't think I I don't think I still fully grasp Every pregnancy after so I birth 4 of them. We have 6. But the the older 2 have been in my lives for fifth in my life for fifth teen years. Okay. After the first 2 that I birthed, so meaning my last 2 children, Onyx and Nico, I remember telling my mom, my brother, my sister, separate like, over text or call them or whatever. I'm never gonna say they weren't happy for us.
Lolo Fisher [00:30:37]:
But they were like, okay. Alright.
Nneka Jenkins [00:30:42]:
Really? This isn't the truth. Yeah. It's so important. And it's funny because I was never mad at them, but I remember feeling like, wait. What? Because in my mind, I just wanted a big family. I loved a big family. I'm like, we'll be fine, whatever. I never fully grasped emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually, and monetarily, what a task.
Lolo Fisher [00:31:05]:
Mhmm. This is exactly the conversation I need to hear, so tell me more. But you're No, ma'am. But you're the only 1, and I'm over here. I should probably dog. No. No. It's, like, my partner is behind the camera, and I'm just he wants a whole football to you. And I'm like, that's exactly what my husband would say.
Nneka Jenkins [00:31:25]:
So listen. I don't regret it for a second. And to be honest with you, I my husband if he were here, if you were honest, he probably would do another kid.
Lolo Fisher [00:31:38]:
You have 6 total, you said? Yeah. 6. Okay. So here's what's the oldest? What's the s 23?
Nneka Jenkins [00:31:43]:
Okay. I just lie to you? 22. Oh my gosh. She's gonna kill me. 22.
Lolo Fisher [00:31:48]:
22. She just turned 22. Okay. And the youngest is 1. Wow. Wow. So so you've been working at it. Like like For real. Because motherhood is working. Really?
Nneka Jenkins [00:32:00]:
It is the hardest job I don't do it full time. Let's be real. I have a job, and I do other things. And I we have helped. Thank god. But I can't sometimes that's another I the I don't have mommy guilt about a lot of things. I'm not that mom. Okay. But I have I have success guilt within the mommyhood thing of, like, I I have help, and sometimes I'm, like, oh my goodness. Yeah. What about like, my mom is a single mom. My sister is a single mom. I have no idea how they do when I see single moms, like, the dance moms at the at the the studio, I don't understand. Mhmm. So I'm grateful, but it's it's overwhelming.
Lolo Fisher [00:32:37]:
Definitely. It's overwhelming. How how old were your step kids when you were going to -- 8 and 4. -- for those lives? 8 and 4. You're 8 you're finding a way to tell people how old I am. Just kidding. No. I'm just kidding. I'm asking because my stepson's 11, and, you know, it it is different, like, because even if you like, I've always wanted to be a mom, so it's not like I was like, oh, I don't know. Like, I was like, no. I want this. Right. No questions asked. But it is challenging when you didn't see their, like, their childhood to a certain extent. They're still children, but you didn't see how they grew up for for certain amount of years. Your rules in the house might be different than what it was previously, and that has that's been a lot of lessons for me. I think the the biggest thing for the step children piece to, like, my own biological
Nneka Jenkins [00:33:25]:
kids because I I don't even use the word step. Right. I feel guilty sometimes when I say 6 kids because I feel like I'm taking something away from their mom. Like, no. That's their their mother birth. That is their you know, that's her kids, but they are my kids. Yeah. They are my kids. My kids know them as their sisters. So the biggest thing is when I came into their lives, I was scared about the type of mom I would be, let alone stepmom. Right? Because of how I was raised and the way my mom was versus the way my dad was and I grew up pretty much only with my mom. I wasn't sure that I'd be able to show them the love -- Mhmm. -- the way in my mind I thought I had to and needed to and should. Interesting. Okay. So I was terrified of doing it wrong. And, you know, I always loved them, but I didn't know how to show it. The -- Yeah. Because I'm and it's that's just a tough 1 for me. And then I think they helped me figure it out along the way because they're so affectionate and so loving and so is their dad. That once I had my own biological and I was like, oh, no. No. Like, okay. Okay. Like, I was very nervous that I would, like, break them mentally. Really? Yeah. Like, not knowing how to emotionally connect
Lolo Fisher [00:34:48]:
truly and fully and -- Yeah. Yeah. So so is what you're telling me, like, in your own childhood, emotional connection look different than you do now with your kids. Okay. Totally.
Nneka Jenkins [00:34:59]:
I've never asked my mom, but 1 thing I wanna have enough courage to ask her and make sure I can ask it in a way that she does feel like I'm saying it in a negative way, is I wonder what she thinks when she sees me with my kids. Because my mom did an amazing job. She continues to do an amazing job. She did it by herself, essentially, worked hard and had a lot of challenges along the way. And she didn't I don't think she had the opportunity to show us in the way she probably wanted to. The love part, like, affectionate affection. And I don't think she was shown that. Yeah. I didn't know my grandparents well. They were in Africa. They died when I when I was younger. So I didn't really get to know them well. Right. But I don't think that they showed it in the traditional sense we see now that it's, like, appropriate or whatever. I don't think there's 1 way to show it at all. I don't. Of course. Yeah. But I wonder. She's gotten a lot more loving. She's more loving to my kids and sometimes I mean, sometimes I'm a little like, What about me?
Lolo Fisher [00:36:08]:
Let me go back in time. You went. They say that though. You They are so they say that number. Because my nieces are now oh, gosh. And probably gonna get there. He just rang and they'll be all upset. But 16 and 15, they're they're junior in sophomore in high school right now because my my oldest brother is 20 years older than me. We have a huge gap. Oh, wow. And then I have 1. It's 13 years older than me. So -- Wow. -- it's, like, makeup. And I was I think middle school, high school time when helping raise my nieces in some sense. And in my mind, I'm helping raise them. They're probably just seeing it as, like -- Right. You know, my little sister's hanging out with the kids. They're close in age. And I'm like, yeah. I've got this big role and everything. Totally. But it was so interesting because the way my mom would interact with her grandchildren was so vastly different than how she treated us as her children.
Nneka Jenkins [00:36:57]:
All love. Right? But the love look different. And I'm like, these kids can do no wrong in your eyes. Like, not wrong. Considering I mean, she grew up mostly in Nigeria and then in London and boarding school and then came to brought us to America. It's like, I wonder if
Lolo Fisher [00:37:13]:
she didn't feel like she -- -- things too. Wait. Well, just like I said, I feel like boarding school could change things too. Yeah.
Nneka Jenkins [00:37:19]:
Well, that's actually a good point. I actually never thought about that with her just her upbringing. But I think that I don't know. Again, I've never had the courage to ask her, but I wonder if she if she didn't feel like she had the space. Yeah. To to be more loving in the way. I don't think she had all the tools too at that time, but I wonder if she just didn't feel she could because she had so much overwhelming pressure -- Yeah. -- to provide for us. What do you need
Lolo Fisher [00:37:49]:
to feel like you can have that conversation?
Nneka Jenkins [00:37:54]:
I don't know. I think I have to I definitely let go of whatever resentment or bitterness I had towards her not being around as much. I get it now. I think it took me way too long. And that's also what I worry about with my kids. Are they gonna, like, get it later? Like, mommy at Right? Daddy has to work. Mhmm. I think I wanna make sure that my intentions are clear. My my aunt, my auntie Obi, taught me a long time ago, and I didn't hear it then. I I heard it, but I wasn't listening. I don't know. What was it? Yeah. And it's always stuck with me, and now I think I get it. That sometimes it doesn't matter what you do, don't do, or what you say or don't say. What's your intention behind doing or not doing or whatever you choose, what whatever your options are. So for me, I wanna make sure my intentions are to truly gain understanding and to not be right or feel entitled to how I used to feel about, like, the love I didn't feel I received. Because otherwise, what's the point? I'm I might be doing more damage to her asking the question or more harm to our relationship -- Mhmm. -- with her thinking that I don't appreciate all that she did. That's huge.
Lolo Fisher [00:39:13]:
That's huge. So I'm still working on that. I think the kids just got oh, nope. This is Amy. Hi, miss you again. So yeah. Okay. Cool. So I wanna I know we're talking a lot about family. So I wanna kinda wrap the little bit of our family sector up with any advice or tips you would give to moms who are maybe figuring out if they want to continue working or how much to work amidst family life as well. Oh,
Nneka Jenkins [00:39:44]:
probably not gonna be received while continue working. If it's in your heart that you want to, I promise you there's a way III think I see more more instances where people regret that they stopped for a little bit and because they didn't feel they could do both. I'm not saying you have to do both 100 percent. Right. But if you feel it in your spirit that what drives you is work and motherhood, in my opinion, for most careers I don't know. I haven't done all careers. I haven't researched it, but I think you can do both. And maybe it's you dabble in another career that's not as demanding just to keep that flowing for you. Mhmm. And then you say, I'm gonna table my true career what I wanna do for a little bit, or I'm gonna intern like, a lower level of it. But -- Yeah. -- I don't know. I think you can, and I think what's the problem is is too many of us that are doing both are not sharing the experience, the trials and tribulations and how hard it is. And then showing the good side too, too many people are only showing the good. Only the good. And I hate that. We're we're tricking people. Kinda like, how no 1 told me how traumatic childbirth would be.
Lolo Fisher [00:41:15]:
Okay. Let me take that back. Listen. Listen. Little droplets of sweat side. I'm sorry. That came across a really aggressive. No. No. Well, thank you. Good luck. You know?
Nneka Jenkins [00:41:28]:
On 1 hand, I think that people don't because truly you forget. I truly forget a lot of it. But I think for me, like, each of my babies were almost 10 pounds. All 4 of my babies were almost 10 pounds. And I had no idea because I'm naive in a lot of ways for things. Truly like, I wanted it so bad. I'm just gonna do it. But I'm not like, Nika, what about, like, your body? Mhmm. So having 4, almost 10 pound kids in 6 years, my mom, brother, and sister, there we actions. We're not we don't want you to have more kids. It was, take some more space. What are you in a rush for? Like, your body has to heal.
Lolo Fisher [00:42:12]:
Has your body healed? No. Not at all.
Nneka Jenkins [00:42:15]:
Not at all. That's a work in progress. Yeah. It's hard. Yeah. We want the idea. And I'm not saying this drove me, but I think in in my mind, I remember friends that were pregnant at 35 -- Mhmm. -- and them treated they were treated like geriatric you know -- Mhmm. -- patient well, they were called geriatric patients, and they had some more testing. And just so much of that anxiety extra anxiety that the medicals or the western medicine puts on us to feel like we're incapable of having being back to 35. So in my mind -- Not true, but that's exactly what we're told. Yeah. So I so 1 of my babies was after 35. So and I felt that. So out of the 4 pregnancies, I felt that. But I think that not under not truly grasping that because no 1 talks about it. Yeah. No 1 tells you just how truly hard it's gonna be. It's not about the bounce back. People look at the body like when I would talk about some of the issues with my back that I have or my stomach, people would literally just be like, oh my gosh. You can stop it. You know? Whatever. It's like and so then I then put it on the back burner to take care of myself because I was like, stopping stupid. There's people that can't get the weight off. You're done. So I literally put off the real issues with my back and my stomach. Real issues, not just my stomach is big. No. I'm talking diastasis recti. I'm talking literally a fractured tailbone. That -- Oh my gosh. -- I put off even seeking help for it, which caused more damage. And then I had more babies that caused more damage.
Lolo Fisher [00:43:54]:
Because no 1 would talk about it. No 1 allowed you to have space to struggle because you looked you looked away. Yeah. So if you look like you're fine, I mean, that's that's physical and mental health. Right? If you look like you're fine, people will not -- Mhmm. You know, really even support if you're saying that something's wrong. Yeah. And it's their own issues.
Nneka Jenkins [00:44:15]:
So you have to then come that. So that that was part of my big thing this year. It's been like, I am strong. I'm a very strong person. I'm very emotional. Yeah. Like, I'm very passionate. I'm very emotional. So for me, I'm no longer wearing the armor of strong black women. No. I'm soft. I'm emotional. I'm soft, I'm emotional, and I'm tired. Yeah. And I'm I welcome being taken care of. Early on -- Yeah. -- I literally would not let anyone take care of me. Right? I wanted to be the 1 taking care of other people, kids, husband, friends, anything. Now I'm like, oh, no. No. I'm okay with it. I'm all from it. I appreciate that transparency.
Lolo Fisher [00:44:58]:
I I'm curious though because I love these concepts of soft life, but I think I'm still in this place of, like, I say I want it, but my actions and behaviors are saying that I wanna be taking care of everybody else and not being taken care of. So I can't say that they're consistent at this time. So, like, what was that change or transition that allowed you to be able to say, like, yes. I'm open to the soft life. Yes. I'm open to being taken care of. Like, it's coming my way.
Nneka Jenkins [00:45:27]:
When I true it was after my lost baby, so he's a year and 5 months. I think it was when I finally realized I was done having kids. Mhmm. Because, truly, after every kid, I was open to more. Like and I'm glad I was and, you know, all that. But once I figured out, like, no. I'm done. And it doesn't mean in my mind, I thought, Well, there's a lot of people that can't have kids, and I do want a big family, so I should be able to do it. I mean, this this self talk, the negative self talk that I've got going on sometimes is hard. So just because you can and it's a blessing, doesn't mean you should or have to. Mhmm. So when I came to the realization that I was okay with my family at a family of 8, I started actually paying attention to how I felt, which is crazy. I swear to you, like, I'm not I don't regret my journey in all that I've accomplished and good, bad, and ugly, but I never stopped to, like, literally, how do you how do you feeling? How do you so now it's kinda funny in my mind, but somebody asked me, I went to a hair shop today for this. Yeah. And somebody somebody came in and actually they they're a client of mine, but they've been a client of my hairdressers for a while. And she came in and she's like, how are you, Naka? Good to see you. And I was like, tired. Yep. Just be honest. No longer. Yeah. I'm great. I'm wonderful. I am those things. Yeah. And I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. Happy. I'm stressed. I'm blessed. I'm all the things. So I never asked myself it before. Mhmm. I was always concerned with other people. And on 1 hand, you know, it sounds like it's like, oh, so no noble of you like you're caring for let's be honest about this. It's truly there's there's a part of that that is self fulfilling. Right? To be needed, And then -- Yeah. -- to help other people at it satisfies the dependency. Right? Co dependency 01:01. But it also it satisfies the ego, and it makes you feel better about who you are and makes you feel more capable, all those things. So I can sit here and pretend like it was always about other people, and a lot of it was But, truly, it was me not feeling worthy. It was me skirting off the attention to be on someone else, What what good did that do? Mhmm. So But if it felt better when you would be able to, like, help somebody take care of somebody, then you're like, no. Then I guess I'm good because I was to help. Yeah. It meant that I was worthy. It meant that I was capable. It meant that I was
Lolo Fisher [00:48:10]:
all the things. When he decided comes from inside -- Mhmm. -- that's where it changes.
Nneka Jenkins [00:48:16]:
Mhmm. So for that soft life comment, I'm I'm a work in progress on that 1 because, like, I post about it a lot, and I make a joke of it. But the truth -- You do. You do. I -- Welcome. -- talking about the soft life. I welcome the soft life But here's what I don't welcome. This is not gonna be popular to say.
Lolo Fisher [00:48:34]:
So many people are wanting the self life or, you know, advocate in saying that.
Nneka Jenkins [00:48:39]:
But they haven't worked hard. Oh, so soft life equates to lazy life for some Well, here's the thing. I'm not saying everything has look like we're hard hustle. It's about I'm not saying that. But I'm saying, if you say you want something like, I have a lot of people that come and they they want nah. God. Oh my gosh. I just wanna fall in your path and set it up. Great. What are you willing to sacrifice? Doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your sleep. You have to sacrifice your health and all the things that I kinda did. Mhmm. Doesn't mean that. There's other things that you can sacrifice on your path to whatever it is you want because truly greatness comes with a tremendous amount of sacrifice. It just does. So when I see people that you know, want the soft life or just our I get confused by you say you wanna be here. But
Lolo Fisher [00:49:27]:
you literally have not done anything to to to work hard towards that goal but you feel worthy of, like -- Yeah. I just wanna you know? Have you taken care of me? I see that. Oh, I'm struggling with that. So it's hard for me to even it. I get it. Like that, I see this this piece of, like, there's this distance. You say you want this, and you're like, yeah. Deserve it. I act like almost like there's an entire to it, but anyway, like, there you go. But then the folks who really should be getting that don't feel worthy at all. Don't boom. Like, how does this make sense? Dude, the entitlement. That's it. That's what I was trying to articulate. It's the entitlement. And that's what we're scared of for our kids. Yeah. Because come on. Yeah. I'd yeah. The entitlement is
Nneka Jenkins [00:50:10]:
but I but what you said is is just really resonating of just the people that have worked hard for it still don't feel that they're entitled to any part of the -- Mhmm. Reaping of what they've sown. Yeah. The mental battle is real. Yeah. Working through that. -- real. But I will get I will get there. Yeah. And I will people will be like, oh, who is the funny thing about, you know, everyone, you know, characterizes works she works all that stuff. I am the hardest working lazy person. I hate that word lazy, but just if I could just, like, be real.
Lolo Fisher [00:50:47]:
Asked my husband a good Friday night. I'm like, can we watch a movie here at home movie in pizza, please? Like,
Nneka Jenkins [00:50:54]:
I want chill. I love movies. I love chill I mean, when you built a home this beautiful, I would wanna be home all the time. Yeah. That was the thing I really for the first year and a half and I needed that. I needed to decorate it the way I wanted. I needed to just curate the space because what I realized was my space was totally messing with my mindset. It does. And I in my mind, I was like because we're realtors. We do a lot of remodel. We build houses in -- Yep. In my mind, I was like, no. This is just a sacrifice and, like, do that. But I was selling homes, moving people into homes, and I was embarrassed and would not let anyone come to my home. Not that there was anything wrong with my home, but it was constantly in, oh, we're gonna do this renovation today, and then we have no time. It didn't post on everyone else. Nope. Not at all. Yeah. So when we did that, I think that's them. The kids are here when we did. Are those my babies?
Lolo Fisher [00:51:45]:
Hey. Oh. There's beauty. Come say hi. Hi. Say hi. This isn't no. Hi. Hello. What's your name, Toni? Okay. What's your name? What's your name?
Nneka Jenkins [00:52:01]:
Kalei. Kalei? Hi, sweet pea.
Lolo Fisher [00:52:04]:
K. You don't have time now. Love it. Say hi, miss Hi. How are you? My name is Kaleek. Oh, y'all are cheesy. You're seeping. What's up? Squeaky, creak. The squeaky, creak. Is that when they got you in school? Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. There you go. Graceful. Okay. Down. Gotcha. -- graceful. Down. Down. Down. Your mom's killing it on this podcast. You're gonna come down, honey.
Nneka Jenkins [00:52:35]:
I love you.
Lolo Fisher [00:52:38]:
Alright. I'll see you guys in a second. Okay?
Nneka Jenkins [00:52:43]:
Oh, they listen. They actually listen. No. They whenever they come home, we always say, you know, go wash your hands. We wanna close whatever. And sometimes they don't listen. But today, they did. They're so good. -- cuties. Thank you. They really are. Okay. So that's this is my husband. Say hello. They the they're 7, 8 in a couple weeks, and she just turned Okay.
Lolo Fisher [00:53:09]:
K. So she said Lele. Right? Lele is our dancer? Yes. I think her Lele is her name. She goes back. She well, we call her sometimes Lele. Yay. Mhmm. She pressured me to glow it. Yay. Yeah. The other 2 are at daycare, so we'll let them be there a little longer. 2 hours. The 1. Just a tad bit more. Well, it's cool. We're actually getting towards the end of the episode. So I really just have, like, 2 more questions for you. We talked a lot about, you know, what the journeys look like in the advice to getting to this place of success even if we don't even feel like it's that success place we want because might keep growing into it and growing into it. There's always more. But you mentioned that there are people who tell you, like, I wanna fall on your footsteps. What do I have to do? So What would you say are, like, maybe those top 3 tips or steps to somebody who wants to achieve in Realty and motherhood like you?
Nneka Jenkins [00:53:59]:
Model and match, that's the biggest 1 for me. You know, if you say you want something, find whoever. Doesn't mean they have to do it your way. You don't have a way. You haven't done it yet. So stop don't have an ego about it. Real estate, do not have an ego about it. If you really wanna be truly successful and consistent and build build a long lasting career with it, find somebody that you feel is doing it well and you respect what they're doing it, the way that they're doing it, model what they're doing. Mhmm. You don't get to make it your own until you're consistently producing a little that's that's how I feel because that's how you stay consistent. You're not like, oh, I gotta go find a full time job and leave the business. Right. That's 1. Model and match. 2, Yeah. You know, this is not popular either. Don't worry about the paycheck. Yes. We make a good amount of money in real estate. But when you're modeling and matching someone else, you have mentorship. That's not free. Yeah. And it shouldn't be. Anything worth having, it it might cost you a little bit. Mhmm. So don't worry about the paycheck. Worry about the experiences. I learned more in the beginning from people at the brokerage or my mentor's deals that I wasn't on. I didn't make a dime on. Yeah. I was the 1 person in the office that would always be like, hey, Brett, I wanna come. Wanna come. No. No. I don't think. I don't need you to cut me in. No. No. No. I just wanna come and listen. Mhmm. So a lot of times when I'd be going on, even if it was my client, Yeah. He would do a lot of the talking, but my client the trust is with me, but my client I needed my client to know, listen. I'm new here. You're trusting me with the largest sale and or purchase of your life. Like, trust that I'm partnered with someone that's done it before. Right. Huge deal. Stop thinking that you can just get your license in because you were straight a and you're great. You're probably amazing. Stop thinking, like, real estate, every transaction is different. Yeah.
Lolo Fisher [00:55:47]:
Third,
Nneka Jenkins [00:55:53]:
Gosh. The third 1? You didn't even, like, let me prep this. No. I'm just teasing. On the spot. No. This is good. The third 10I know. I think the third 1 is I I like to be an open book in my life in general. That's who I am, but with real estate. And so much of real estate, people hold their carts close to their chest. And I think that's so sad, and it's a scarcity mindset because people think that by helping you 6 Bye, honey. By helping you succeed, that means it takes success away from me. Mhmm. And that's just not true. That's not true. Like, you your success literally has no bearing on my -- and truly understanding that and giving back to people -- Right. -- so that realtor that's starting -- -- successful. There's so much out here even though there's low inventory. Yay. Yay. Yay. There's so much out. We can all be successful. Mhmm. I love that. Yeah. Okay.
Lolo Fisher [00:56:55]:
The last question on the personal side. Yeah. You have 6 kiddos you've talked about now. We got to meet a couple of others a second. And I can already tell just in how we connected on social media even, and now in our conversation that you are a connector and builder in your community, which means There's a lot of people whose eyes are on you. Yeah. But in the bigger, more meaningful space for what's internal, what do you want your legacy to be? What do you want people to know you for?
Nneka Jenkins [00:57:26]:
Oh, wow.
Lolo Fisher [00:57:30]:
I don't know.
Nneka Jenkins [00:57:32]:
Oh my goodness. That's a good question. I don't think I've thought of that before. Like, if I were to die tomorrow, what would I want? You know, And I think that's what drives me because I want people to know that I took care of my people. And, yes, that pretty much means my husband and my kids. Yeah. But, really, my village, my tribe. So if we all focused on taking care of our tribe -- Mhmm. -- this world would be so much better. Yeah. Because we all somehow have a little tribe. It could be small, it could be big, whatever. But if we're all freely invested in seeing our people, whoever that is, however big it is, succeed. We wouldn't have the school down the street bringing guns to school. You know? I just think there's just I know that sounds so cheesy, but we gotta, like, help each other out more. Kinda, like, look out for each other to whom much is given, much is expected. It's it's a lot of work. But it's so important.
Lolo Fisher [00:58:37]:
Mhmm. That's big. That's big, and that means a lot. Okay. I said 2 more questions, but I have a bonus session. -- go. I love it. Love talking to you. -- about the tea shop. That's my last thing.
Nneka Jenkins [00:58:49]:
So you called me about the tea shop. I told you I did not wanna say stuff because then you can hold me to it
Lolo Fisher [00:58:56]:
I do. I mean, I do. I love -- Okay. So, like, I do. Yeah. I like I literally only drink coffee and, like, really hectic seasons, but, like, I prefer tea most of the time. No.
Nneka Jenkins [00:59:07]:
We have wait. What? Salters. Oh, I need to know about There's a c shop in Lufthansa.
Lolo Fisher [00:59:14]:
But we didn't actually get anything. I haven't tried it yet. So we're going to? It was a yeah. We're not gonna We're go well, you can cum, but, like, we're going. There was, like, a almost how do you say it? Like, a Victorian tea shop, like, where they had everything, like, all the glassware and everything, and it was, like, And legs are good. Oh my gosh. Yeah. So -- I don't know what this -- First of all, we're talking about this after. But
Nneka Jenkins [00:59:35]:
I can't do coffee. It just does something to my tummy. Right? Some people, you know, just maybe the lot to like, if I do too much milk or whatever. So that's my substitute. Mhmm. For me, it became a thing where because it's hot, and the daint yes that, like, you're talking about, like, the little tea count and all that, it forces me to slow down. Yes. Like, it to use more, it's, like, my morning routine to, like -- Well, you need to teach me because I think it's my morning routine. I'm not doing it all the time, and I wish that I I I'm working on that. Right? Yeah. Because things get crazy, but if I could figure out a way no matter how crazy things get to always do that in a few times. I literally have that the smag kettle thing. You know? Yeah. I have I have keep it upstairs, Jessica. Yeah. I ain't even got that whole setup. Oh, no. No. We gotta talk. We gotta pulls that up. So for me, that's what that is. So the t shop, now that you've put me on the spot, it's gonna happen. Yes. It is. I have ideas of the aesthetic of it, but I want it to be a space seat. I'm not giving my no. Until I I'm not giving it all away. Tell it if -- -- shops important to you. It's important to me because, you know, on the journey, there's gonna be moments where people you're hustle in. Maybe there's a journey of or time of rest and all that. Right? I think hustle is important. Sometimes there's a time and place for everything. I want it to be something where we encourage the slow moments. We encourage the self reflect chin. Like, I want it to be a space where we encourage those moments to take place with a bomb ass ambiance Yes. And professionals there, retire whatever. But that's so important. Having a space, having our space, Yeah. And there are coffee shops with, like, similar vibes, but I have not seen a tea shop like that yet. And then here's the other thing. I've seen 1, and I won't name it. But the tea shop that I have seen that I love the aesthetic of it, we'll talk about it after, they also had coffee, and I feel like that's cheating.
Lolo Fisher [01:01:39]:
I want a tea shop where it's, like, literally just tea, and we kill it in tea. Yeah. If you want coffee, go to Starbucks or wherever. Yeah. You know, there was a so my favorite t shop was actually when I was living in Tucson. Really? But they do serve coffee, but it was, like, they're not known for their coffee. Like, their coffee is super it's imported, whatever. Super strong. Like, my mom had a cup of coffee, thought she was having a heart attack. It was kinda funny, actually. But -- Yeah. -- but they're known for their tea. That's why they're like, we don't really It's not our thing. Right. But it's the scented leaf. So anybody who lives in Tucson that might be watching is just needed chill. Like, I still get their text messages. Like, I'll just go back and get started. We'll do market research before the shot. Perfect. I love that. Well, I love this. This is a fun way to, like, end it too because, obviously, we talked about a whole lot of topics. So, Nika, thank you for sharing your journey. Thank you for coming. Sharing with me, but also, you know, to listen is to to random folks you don't even know who are gonna be so inspired by you. So -- Hey. -- where can people connect with you or follow you? I'd like to say you too, but I'm slacking on them. So Instagram,
Nneka Jenkins [01:02:40]:
and then I'll take you my YouTube page whenever I do that, Instagram Homes by NECA. If you go to my YouTube page, it's okay, but it could do some work. And it I think I'm homeless by now. I'll work on it. Yeah. We got it. And it's 2 n's, H0MESH0MESH0MESBYNNEKA.
Lolo Fisher [01:02:58]:
Perfect. Thank you, Nyka. Make sure y'all follow her. Get the wrap. I see it.
Lolo Fisher [01:03:09]:
Thank you for tuning in to the Here to Uplift podcast. New episodes are airing every week with some bonus episodes in between 2. So make sure you stay tuned by subscribing, following, liking, and engaging with us to let us know what topic you're most interested in and what might inspire you along this journey. We're gonna keep working hard on our end because we are here uplift not only ourselves, but our community too, and that includes you. So I can't wait for you to hear the next episode. But for now, do your thing. Let's get it, and let's meet moving forward. Up with yourself, friends. You got this.